Sandbags of Resentment
Dear PAWrents, We've all been in a situation where we've walked away feeling burned, and instead of cleaning up the emotional wound, we let it sit unresolved, becoming a festering emotional infection. **If you prefer to listen to my message instead of reading it, click on the image above featuring the Scorpion.**
Passion and a lack of honesty will bring us into these situations. And we can't be honest with others if we aren't honest with ourselves.
So a few weeks ago, I found myself in this exact situation where I felt burned, and things began to rot my brain with annoying -but valid- thoughts. I don't know about you, but I like to have my brain space full of creativity and gratitude. But in this experience, I realized I was in this position because I hadn't been honest. And by digging a bit deeper, I uncovered this beautiful lie I've been telling myself.
And the beautiful lie I've convinced myself for the last few years is that I'm such an easy-going person; I don't have strong opinions on creative projects or expectations about activities and outings with others when we're out having fun.
This is a lie. I am one of the most opinionated people I know.
So why have I convinced myself of this? What did this lie do to serve me? It hasn't always been my truth. When I was a vaudeville performer and ran a Speakeasy in Hollywood, I had many people approach me wanting to co-produce shows. I turned all those offers down because my opinions were so strong that co-producing wasn't an option if I wanted to keep those friendships; I knew I wanted things MY WAY.
So what happened? What changed? Why did I start believing that I didn't care any longer? And how has this impacted my life? How does this impact Sugarpants (and previously, my cat, Holly), and how does this affect my energy and magick?
The answers are accurate for all of us, so allow me to answer the last three first knowing what's true for me is also pretty accurate for you.
How does this impact our lives? It causes strains on relationships and brings many of them to an end. It causes us to spend countless hours in our heads, replaying the scenarios of what we could and should have said, robbing us of time where we could be laughing, creating, and enjoying life.
As guardians, how does this impact the animals we share our lives with? If you're not clear on your passions and honest with yourself, how will you be their best advocate at the vet? Their best advocate when things go wrong or awry with their health? Will you be able to clearly state your goals and boundaries with your friends, family, and coworkers when your animals are in a health crisis? Will you be able to tell them what you need and expect and what's not welcome?
I have countless stories of people who could not share their truth or use their voice at the vet, which never ends in their favor. I'll share one story with you as an example. About five years ago, I sat on the phone with an older woman as she uncontrollably sobbed because when she brought her little dog in for a check-up, the vet convinced her to euthanize her beloved best friend. None of this was in the plans, and this visit was merely a check-up. Was the dog old? Sure. Was the dog sick? Probably. Was it the dog's time to go? Doubtful. Was the woman ready to say goodbye? Not at all.
I have worked with hundreds of animals who have made a full recovery after a vet recommended euthanasia. But more than that, this is a profoundly personal decision. Unless it's an extreme case and there are no other options (e.g., severe injury, tumor eruption, etc.), guardians should always have time to say goodbye and see if there are any other avenues to try before doing so.
But this older woman is from a generation where women weren't allowed to ask questions, have a voice, speak their truth, or even have a bank account independent of a man. So, as I listened to her sob, I knew she was "just following orders" without tuning into her own heart and gut. And, I'm gonna put it simply, that fucking sucks.
She wasn't allowed time to have a consultation with someone else to see what may have been available to her and her little dog. The only reason I was on the phone with this woman I had never previously spoken with was that her friend (a client) gifted her a session to relieve her trauma.
Did she blame the vet? Of course. Did she blame herself? Yes, that too. Will she take that to her grave? A definite yes. The words that were on repeat through her uncontrollable sobs were, "I don't know why I let him... she wasn't ready to go... She was happy... we were happy." And through my shock and rage, I cried with her.
This woman is one of the hundreds I've personally spoken with who have been in similar situations. And while I love and am grateful for veterinarians, not all are created equal, and western medicine is not the only option available to you. Period.
So lastly, how does it affect your energy and magick not to speak your truth? To not be completely forthcoming with your feelings, ideas, and various areas where you are passionate?
It will cause you to live in the past instead of focusing on the future.
It will keep you in a loop of what went wrong, and you'll be riddled with resentment.
It can cause trauma and grief that can take a lifetime to get over.
So, why do we have difficulty speaking our truth? And why do we tell ourselves pretty little lies that we are "easy-going" and "don't care" or even say things like "I don't care, it's up to you!" when we do care? The answer is simple, childhood trauma. We're afraid to rock the boat because, as children, we had experiences that, when we did, caused people to be angry and hurt us both emotionally and physically. We learned that it's safe to keep quiet and to follow along even at the expense of our happiness.
Truth bomb: If you're doing this with simple things like having an opinion on where you want to eat or how you want to spend your Saturday night, you're doing it in every area of your life, even with your beloved animal companions at the vet.
How do you stop the toxic cycle? Two words: Shadow work. What is shadow work? Shadow work is lifting the rug where you've been sweeping these old habits that have caused and continue to cause grief, and you clean it up. How do you do that? You start by asking yourself "why" questions. Like, "Why do I do this? When did this start? Who benefits from this?" And then we go in and scrub the energy around it.
Are you ready to clean up and clear out the festering mounds of energy where you have felt burned?
Are you ready to lift the rug and sweep up the toxic habits that your inner child created to keep you "safe" but have accidentally caused more harm?
If you're tired of carrying around sandbags of resentment or know that you have a habit of not wanting to question authority or rock the boat even at the expense of your happiness, jump into the Shadow work on the Crowned Creatrix! Starting on Friday with the Dark Moon, we will be doing shadow work with The Scorpion, who is an AMAZING guide in helping us change these toxic behaviors. This Goddess will guide participants to clear burned and infected energy that gets in the way of our passions, creativity, and voice. And there's no time like the present to be able to speak your truth and feel safe doing so. Your happiness and your animal companions depend on it. Join me.
I'm Rachel Augusta- host, creatrix, shapeshifter, destroyer of old paradigms, creator of new beliefs, mover and shaker, and a student of life who is devoted to letting go of old resentments. I am also devoted to speaking the truth even to myself, filling my heart with gratitude, and using my brain to create magick for healing. I want the same for you.
Everything on the Crowned Creatrix is guided and easy to follow. The Shadow Work and Activations are pre-recorded for your convenience and only 30 minutes or less, giving you time and the opportunity to do the work without being overwhelmed by it.
The Crowned Creatrix also gives you a community of lovely animal lovers who will hold space for you when you're going through something rough, offer advice pertaining to your animals when asked, and share pro-tips they've learned along the way. Join us in the Crowned Creatrix on the EmPAWer app.
Note* The EmPAWwer App is free and offers free classes, guided healings, and meditations for you and your animals. The Crowned Creatrix is a program within the EmPAWer app that teaches you the Martial Arts of Magickⓒ so that you can energetically dropkick and hammer punch anything that gets in the way of you and your beloved animal companions living your best lives! The Crowned Creatrix comes with a small monthly fee, and you can cancel anytime.
Join us in the Crowned Creatrix on the EmPAWer app.
👉Download Free App (direct links below) through the app store to enjoy all the free classes and healings
👉 or upgrade for a small fee to be a Crowned Creatrix to join me where you'll learn how to energetically support your furry best friend's health with your hands, mind, and words and have access to all of the other paid content.
#DarkMoon #Scorpio #ShadowWork #Resentment #SpeakerOfTruth #ClearToxicEnergy #Empowered #EmPAWered #Creatrix #EmPAWerAPP #CrownedCreatrix Join the EmPAWer Facebook Group for connection and coaching. Get the EmPAWer app for Apple Get the EmPAWer app for Google
With love and emPAWerment ❤️
❤️ With Radiance and awakened magic ❤️
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Rachel
